Good enough

I have a confession to make - I have trouble setting priorities.  Well, maybe not setting them, but accepting that my priorities are perfectly acceptable even if they aren't extremely lofty goals. 

For instance, my main priorities are to the Lord and my family.  I go to church on Sundays instead of staying at home where I could get a lot of things done, relax or even do some studying.  I also feel very strongly in making sure my children are raised "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4)  Because I feel so strongly that I want my children raised to put the Lord first, to trust in Him and to learn His word, it means I have also chosen to stay home with them and postpone things that I would like to do.  Like becoming a lactation consultant and/or a personal trainer.

That is the hard part for me.  Realizing I can't have everything I want.  I don't handle lots of chaos well and remembering to teach my children and making sure my family is healthy, happy and taken care of gets lost in the chaos unless I'm focused and organized.  I have struggled for years with depression and am finally at a place where my family isn't suffering due to my inability to take care of everyone and be healthy myself.

I envy those who have five and six children and still manage to be a midwife, or teacher, or own their own business.  I honestly don't know how they manage.  My husband works and occasionally travels and I make sure the children do their Sunday school work, learn their Bible verses, do their school work and keep everything in order.  That has been difficult to do in the past.

I know that my children are only young for a short time - lots of moms with grown children keep telling me that.  But, it is hard to remember when I'm in the middle of the day to day grind of putting them before studying and going to classes or going to work.  I struggle to be more than "just a mom."

So, I remind myself of my main goals:  To have a household that trusts in the Lord first and foremost, to have sanity and calm so that my children feel safe and secure, and to have a husband with a happy and healthy wife. 

These may not be lofty goals, but these are manageable for me.  Now, I just have to accept that these are good enough.