Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It doesn't have to be perfect!

While I was busy vacuuming up a couple of months' worth of dust balls from under my bed this morning, I was thinking about why my house has been in such a state of chaos for so long.

As the dust balls disappeared, it occured to me that I'm the one who thinks that everything has to get done at once and be done perfectly. So, instead of doing some, and being thankful that one task is done, I get overwhelmed, anxious and paralyzed by what I need to do, so nothing gets done.

Because I started using Google calendar and Google task list, I decided last week to make a chore for myself everyday, just as I do for the children.  That has been the best thing I could have done for myself.  Yes, the downstairs still has an inch of dust but instead of yelling at everyone and taking a whole day to clean my entire house top to bottom while no homeschooling gets done and making everyone miserable in the process, I do one thing a day, just one.  And I ignore the rest.

It's on my list - it will get done.  I sometimes have to repeat to myself several times an hour "It will get done", but I can relax and enjoy the children, enjoy reading to them, and ignore the mess.  And next week it will be even easier because not only will my house be clean, but it will stay that way every week.

This is such a freeing feeling - It doesn't have to be done all at once AND it doesn't have to be perfect

Monday, September 6, 2010

A new day tomorrow

Tomorrow starts the first day of school. The advertisers would have one believe that this is the happiest sentence in the English language. I'm not sure why.

Tomorrow is the day I have to drop of my oldest son to a group of people I don't know and who may or may not share my values. I have to trust that they will nurture my child with the same love and attention that his dad and I do. That can't happen. They didn't see him the day he was born - so helpless and tiny and needy. They didn't see him the day he learned to stand, wobbly and unsure before he plopped on the floor. They don't see him when he's tired and vulnerable and just wants to cry in a heap on his bed. No, they can't love and nurture him the way we can.

The school cannot teach him about the Bible and what God wants for us. That is our job as his parents. Yet, the Lord wants us to think and learn about him all the time. How does that work while he's away at school where they talk about things that are against God's teachings? I pray constantly that the Lord watches over our son and keeps him safe from both bodily and spiritual harm.

I would love to homeschool him, but he likes school, and for now it works. But, to rejoice in sending him? I don't think I could ever do that.